Who are you really voting for?

In the coming months, America will vote for President of the United States. A lot is at stake for America in this election. Gas prices are still very high, the housing crisis is hanging by a thread, and the war in Iraq has needlessly claimed the lives of 4,500 American soldiers.

85% of Americans believe that our health care system needs a major overhaul, and the economy is the slowest it has been in decades.

A great deal of blame can be attributed to certain corporations or maybe even bad fortune, but certainly a bulk of that blame needs to go the Presidential Administration who supposedly ran the country for the last eight years.

It should be a home run for Democrats, right? Senator Obama is clearly more likable than John McCain, and he’s more competent on the issues. Plus, McCain voted along with the current disaster of a President 95% of the time, so it’s a cake walk for the Democratic nominee, right?

If the Democratic party cannot get a super intelligent, charismatic candidate elected in a race against a man who incapable of checking his own email, then it really is time to call it quits. Abolish the parties and just bring George Bush a crown and scepter; he will be king forever.

Because that’s what it would mean. George Bush is the equivalent of an athlete who absolutely tanked it all season in a contract year, and if we elect John McCain– who is so close to George Bush it literally is not funny– that action would make us the general manager who gives that worthless athlete a max contract, a pat on the butt and says “this was all we could ever ask for.”

The performance of George W. Bush is embarrassing. He is hated internationally, and by most people in America. He was a terrible President who exceeded all expectations for futility and under-achievement. The mere fact that his older clone, Senator McCain, is even close in the polls shows that we may have already surrendered our conscious thought along with our sovereignty and anointed the anti-intellectual cowboy as America’s dictator for life. Emperor Palpatine comes to mind.

There is a chance that we may be redeemed, however. The polls taken are somewhat inaccurate, since they only call registered voters who have a home phone. I don’t have a home phone, because A) I am 24, and B) I realize that I don’t need a home phone. So I will never be polled. Neither will a huge majority of college students and recent graduates, a majority of which not only can’t be polled, but will vote for the better candidate, Barrack Obama.

So even though the production of the death star would probably boost the economy, and it would run on clean alternative fuels, there is still a chance that we might not have a new Empire formed at the coming election. On the other hand, we might want to get Cheney fitted for a Vader suit just to keep him alive.

You don't know the power of the Dick side!